Nice read Mike! I think at the root of this is untapped growth in wealth inequality and the squeezing out of the middle class - almost everything else is a symptom. Most worrying is that our parents generation will be the last to have wealth to pass on to their kids - our own kids are fucked unless the system radically changes.
Awesome read Mike. This feels like the cornerstone of a greater cultural analysis. Mentorship, community, and civic duty itself feel like something you could really dig into. Or how all of this is very American and white - immigrant families understand the structures of the adult and look on us with pity if not disgust at how we've abandoned these cultural touchstones.
The article has a very simplistic "work, breed, die" definition of adulthood.
The idea of 2.5 kids and a picket fence is very modern, were people 200, 500, 1000 years ago somehow not adults because they lived in multi generational homes?
Also early marriage was partially because western women had no other avenues available to them than marriage, and so hurried to find a husband before all the good ones were gone. Surely the lack of that pressure is an improvement.
The author makes some points about resilience and using psychological diagnostic labels for regular life experience which I think are interesting, but nothing new. And the author makes no suggestions as to how the problem they perceive can be ameliorated.
Hmm...loss of cultural markers of adulthood. Seems like a reasonable observation, however it seems more likely to me, that our ever-increasing individualistic approach to life is simply telling youth adulthood is anything they want it to be. I think that, coupled with some of your own observations, this creates the contradiction. Reconciling what adulthood was, with what it can be.
I couldn’t pin down what point the author is trying to make until the conclusion. It seemed very “the young people these days are insufferable” while also giving examples as to exactly how and why young people ended up where they are. I disagree that “adulthood” these days is too vague. I think modern “adulthood” is a much more open and achievable thing since it’s not so cookie-cutter. It seemed like he just kept making a point of “you need to be married and have a corporate job and a house and kids to be successful,” when I think everyone can have their own version of success. I also disagree that young people are fragile. I think modern adulthood and modern young adults had an entirely new way of growing up than previous generations, so it only makes sense that the metrics of modern adulthood are also different. I really got the vibe that the author is scared of society changing away from the typical “American dream” 2.5 kids white picket fence lifestyles. I agree there’s bad parts of it, with housing impossible and economy a mess. But I also think it’s refreshing that there are more possibilities these days.
This reads really weird to me. Some assumptions seem warped, like young parenthood being a goal - an ideal, not the sideeffect of an active sex life paired with a moral aversion to abortion.
But what really bugged me most was this line: The world will not accommodate your boundaries. The author laments the lack of independence. The formation of safe spaces and bubbles is the pinnacle of people refusing to interact with things they do not want to, a choice of independent action. The world has to comply when it wants something from adults.
We are seeing people making more sound decisions earlier: smaller households are an economic disaster, children are a net loss you can't afford in your early years, the exposure to working hazards is rarely worth the risk, how to fix a boiler is 15 minutes of internet research. Yet somehow the generations that just went with the flow - get kicked out of the house, get pregnant, never learn new skills and continue the same job for 45 years - is glorified as the adult ones. They are just older
It felt like you read my mind, I've spoken about ALL OF THIS with my colleagues and friends, with a collective anger and concern towards those 7-15 years younger than me. This was a delightful read, considering how you expressed similar thoughts in a different context (UK).
Good read indeed.The symptoms of these are deeper even though at surface level we feel like it is driven by inequality in wealth distribution, late capitalism stage and the cultural change that takes place as society becomes more chaotic..It's, I believe more of how human psyche had evolved over period of years...but this discussion for some other time.Thanks for the write up.
Love this! I’m Harrison, an ex fine dining industry line cook. My stack "The Secret Ingredient" adapts hit restaurant recipes (mostly NYC and L.A.) for easy home cooking.
Enjoyed your post very much! Describes very good what is happening now. Failing is very important, let me also use the word: trauma is very important. I always like to use sports as analogy when it comes to character development: you need to brake it first for it to grow. You want to become stronger physically? You need to first break your tiny muscles. You want stronger leg bones? You need to hit with it so you can create micro-fractures on it to heal and become stronger. It's the same with character development, same with heart-breaking, same with everything else. Is there a chance to break your muscles? Yes. Is there a chance to break your leg bones? Yes. But if you do it with sense of responsability, do it slow and with resilience, in most cases you will be fine and gain something if not everything from it.
I don't know where are you from Mike, i'm guessing USA. I am from Romania and it feels that society is becoming very weak, there are no more standards, people are very weak, anything you say to them, even a simple hello with the wrong tone and they get attacked by it - it might be that it was always this way, but it feels like it's getting worse year by year - i don't even know.
There is no purpose anymore - politicians, people that lead us - they just talk shit and do nothing, no direction of the people they lead, it's the most stupid period of our time. I think life has becoming more and more easy - you can literally stay in house, and order food, order clothing, order a doctor, order a massage, you don't even need to leave the house anymore, do sport in door, do everything in door - and some people just do that, you don't meet people anymore in a bar, or a local pub - everything is empty.
People are doing alot of illegalities, but if most of our society and young people are staying inside the house - nobody sees them right?
Wonderful read. As a parent of two toddlers, the level of surveillance and risk avoidance I see discussed by other parents is frightening. Reflecting on my most intense memories in life, they are nearly all related to failures. I had to overcome them (to the best of my ability, still working on some) and forge ahead. The important thing however is that had those failures in the real world, with real people involved.
Nice read Mike! I think at the root of this is untapped growth in wealth inequality and the squeezing out of the middle class - almost everything else is a symptom. Most worrying is that our parents generation will be the last to have wealth to pass on to their kids - our own kids are fucked unless the system radically changes.
Awesome read Mike. This feels like the cornerstone of a greater cultural analysis. Mentorship, community, and civic duty itself feel like something you could really dig into. Or how all of this is very American and white - immigrant families understand the structures of the adult and look on us with pity if not disgust at how we've abandoned these cultural touchstones.
The article has a very simplistic "work, breed, die" definition of adulthood.
The idea of 2.5 kids and a picket fence is very modern, were people 200, 500, 1000 years ago somehow not adults because they lived in multi generational homes?
Also early marriage was partially because western women had no other avenues available to them than marriage, and so hurried to find a husband before all the good ones were gone. Surely the lack of that pressure is an improvement.
The author makes some points about resilience and using psychological diagnostic labels for regular life experience which I think are interesting, but nothing new. And the author makes no suggestions as to how the problem they perceive can be ameliorated.
Hmm...loss of cultural markers of adulthood. Seems like a reasonable observation, however it seems more likely to me, that our ever-increasing individualistic approach to life is simply telling youth adulthood is anything they want it to be. I think that, coupled with some of your own observations, this creates the contradiction. Reconciling what adulthood was, with what it can be.
Individualism, when emphasized for so many generations, replaces collectivism, and thus the entire idea of interdependency
I couldn’t pin down what point the author is trying to make until the conclusion. It seemed very “the young people these days are insufferable” while also giving examples as to exactly how and why young people ended up where they are. I disagree that “adulthood” these days is too vague. I think modern “adulthood” is a much more open and achievable thing since it’s not so cookie-cutter. It seemed like he just kept making a point of “you need to be married and have a corporate job and a house and kids to be successful,” when I think everyone can have their own version of success. I also disagree that young people are fragile. I think modern adulthood and modern young adults had an entirely new way of growing up than previous generations, so it only makes sense that the metrics of modern adulthood are also different. I really got the vibe that the author is scared of society changing away from the typical “American dream” 2.5 kids white picket fence lifestyles. I agree there’s bad parts of it, with housing impossible and economy a mess. But I also think it’s refreshing that there are more possibilities these days.
This reads really weird to me. Some assumptions seem warped, like young parenthood being a goal - an ideal, not the sideeffect of an active sex life paired with a moral aversion to abortion.
But what really bugged me most was this line: The world will not accommodate your boundaries. The author laments the lack of independence. The formation of safe spaces and bubbles is the pinnacle of people refusing to interact with things they do not want to, a choice of independent action. The world has to comply when it wants something from adults.
We are seeing people making more sound decisions earlier: smaller households are an economic disaster, children are a net loss you can't afford in your early years, the exposure to working hazards is rarely worth the risk, how to fix a boiler is 15 minutes of internet research. Yet somehow the generations that just went with the flow - get kicked out of the house, get pregnant, never learn new skills and continue the same job for 45 years - is glorified as the adult ones. They are just older
It felt like you read my mind, I've spoken about ALL OF THIS with my colleagues and friends, with a collective anger and concern towards those 7-15 years younger than me. This was a delightful read, considering how you expressed similar thoughts in a different context (UK).
Good read indeed.The symptoms of these are deeper even though at surface level we feel like it is driven by inequality in wealth distribution, late capitalism stage and the cultural change that takes place as society becomes more chaotic..It's, I believe more of how human psyche had evolved over period of years...but this discussion for some other time.Thanks for the write up.
Fantastic write-up, mirroring what I'm reading in _Feeding The Mouth That Bites You_ by Dr Ken Wilgus!
Love this! I’m Harrison, an ex fine dining industry line cook. My stack "The Secret Ingredient" adapts hit restaurant recipes (mostly NYC and L.A.) for easy home cooking.
check us out:
https://thesecretingredient.substack.com
Enjoyed your post very much! Describes very good what is happening now. Failing is very important, let me also use the word: trauma is very important. I always like to use sports as analogy when it comes to character development: you need to brake it first for it to grow. You want to become stronger physically? You need to first break your tiny muscles. You want stronger leg bones? You need to hit with it so you can create micro-fractures on it to heal and become stronger. It's the same with character development, same with heart-breaking, same with everything else. Is there a chance to break your muscles? Yes. Is there a chance to break your leg bones? Yes. But if you do it with sense of responsability, do it slow and with resilience, in most cases you will be fine and gain something if not everything from it.
I don't know where are you from Mike, i'm guessing USA. I am from Romania and it feels that society is becoming very weak, there are no more standards, people are very weak, anything you say to them, even a simple hello with the wrong tone and they get attacked by it - it might be that it was always this way, but it feels like it's getting worse year by year - i don't even know.
There is no purpose anymore - politicians, people that lead us - they just talk shit and do nothing, no direction of the people they lead, it's the most stupid period of our time. I think life has becoming more and more easy - you can literally stay in house, and order food, order clothing, order a doctor, order a massage, you don't even need to leave the house anymore, do sport in door, do everything in door - and some people just do that, you don't meet people anymore in a bar, or a local pub - everything is empty.
People are doing alot of illegalities, but if most of our society and young people are staying inside the house - nobody sees them right?
Wonderful read. As a parent of two toddlers, the level of surveillance and risk avoidance I see discussed by other parents is frightening. Reflecting on my most intense memories in life, they are nearly all related to failures. I had to overcome them (to the best of my ability, still working on some) and forge ahead. The important thing however is that had those failures in the real world, with real people involved.
Hello, I wanted to listen to this article, why isn't the audio mode enabled?
I don't really have time to sit there and read